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Thursday, September 17, 2009

Somewhere in the middle

I've figured out why I'm so nervous about returning home.

This year has been incredible and full of new people, places, experiences, sights, adventures, food and memories. It's a time I'll never forget and always cherish for being such a departure from the norm.

But in less than two weeks I'll be home where nothing has changed, at least not for me. It will be a return to basically square one after college graduation -- unemployed, living with my parents, still unsure about the next step. Travel more? (Probably.) Find a "real" job? (Unlikely.)

For everyone else, though, a lot has happened over the past year. People have gotten married, had babies, landed cool jobs, moved to various places around the country and had a year's worth of experiences that I wasn't there for, at least not physically.

So I think the butterflies in my stomach stem less from not wanting to move home and more from not being sure where I fit into all of this. It was easy to adjust to life in the USA after coming home from four months in London and after a week or two, it was like I'd never left.

A year is a long time and 7000 miles is a huge distance. The Internet has kept me connected with friends and family but definitely isn't a substitute for being there in person. And so in the back of my mind is the niggling little thought:

Where do I fit in?

Unrelated, but I just saw this Taylor Swift video for the first time and it definitely made me cry. Is it just me?